no boundaries

hence no motivation, dwelling back on those high school days, the rebels we were, well i won't speak for everyone, just im sure i was. the option of comparison only gives the human being the enormous room for complains. you never really think twice why it is that you have those so called "human reflexes", but we conveniently blame it on that thing we call "natural human emotions". just when do we make do with whats available and ask for no more. as this chilly autumn has swept in, i've almost shifted into full gear (i mean black thermals covered from neck down almost enough to rob a bank and pose as 007). not so much as expected and im thinking if this is autumn, then exactly what is winter? since being a melbournian, (mind you that is the first time i've ever called myself that) i've never really felt the full impact of a cold front. i am however struglling with the concept of "layered fashion". its bad enough those morning and night temperatures drop horrendously, and ontop of that, i have to contemplate between, being warm, or being "cool". a mere sacrifice for fashion will just have u end up in a huge mountain of tissues, that flu is already going around and im almost sure i could really do without it this time round. so back to the complaining, why do i feel like im still complaining? cant i get over it and just be done. someone please tell me how i can get over it and be done.

kinda....

just moving on as i go these days, not much planned in the sack. everythings coming into place ready for semester 2 but what needs polishing is my long lost brain and deteriorating books. already half way through the holidays, as usual times like these fly... seen one too many hanabi's, slurping two too many ice-creams (my valid reason: its boiling hot!) ate three too many yaki-niku all you can eat, bought four too many bottles of sauces... the list goes on forever... but the worst of them all would be my shiny metallic pink bike was stolen 2 weeks ago, so now im riding a 2nd hand silver, which is my motto of the year, whats 2nd whats best. i believe last year was, whatever looks gross always tastes the best.. anyhow... im over it, its gone, nothing to be done, however, i leave my last word for the theif.. 'crash!'.... after having watched the movie crash again, i reassured myself, whats goes around only just comes right back around... that person shall get what he/she deserves... ok im ranting... i'll stop.

continuing on to some better news.. well not so much news but recent happenings i guess.... i got to go Universal Studioes Japan at the start of the holidays... wasn't the best rides, since i'd been on most of them in LA but spiderman was fun... shrek 4D was entertaining, they had squirting chairs... well fun at first, n by the end i almost wanted to just rip the chair apart... i bought a really cute elmo raincoat poncho... just as the rainy season had left us. so i was so smart to wear it this one day when it was spitting rain and i swear after a rough 5 minute ride from my place to school, i was more wet with sweat than anything else... plastic... wat more can u say... i also bought shrek's donkey ears, comes with the tail as well XD such a impulsive buy, but i managed to wear it the whole day, all the way back home on the train n as i bike home so i'd get my moneys worth... coz i know for a fact i might never ever wear it again... just like that mini-mouse umbrella i forced my brother to buy me at disneyland hong kong hahaa... wat are brothers for eh! btw i also managed to steal some really wack 3D glasses... as usual i left half broke n really ripped off.... we literally stayed there for 10 hours and got on just about every ride n caught every show... i left a happy girl... until we had to walk so so so far to catch the train...

my warui gakusei n me (shika1+2)

is getting NDS's, metallic silver for him n metallic pink for me.. since im cute-r n can pull it off *ha* haven't blogged anything interesting in awhile, mainly coz i've been married to the library for the past month n now on the verge of divorcing it.. since ive found my shika2.. boderline shiawase n life will be even better once i move closer to school.. im so looking forward to packing... jyanai! though i'll be in utopia once i get my bed, tv n Wii... on top of which, now i won't have to look for one that comes with a free hot guy... coz im...
tagged! shika-ing all day long... (swahili for pashing) he has a noice butt too *lifts eyebrow and points wheres wally style* sadly for those who drool can continue to drool... coz now that he's off the meat market, hearts shatter for this hunk... baby pink hot pink no more... coz metallic pink kicks ass!

so i got my results back today..... avg 82 n now i must shout akira steak.... *hideous face* sif 98 on ur kanji u freak. but i swear i would've kicked his ass if i had studied harder for my kanji test and maybe scored another 2 points if i hadn't fallen asleep in my listening test.... FUCK, i swear i was listening, with my eyes closed then the next thing i hear is them asking for the answer n since all the other answers i had written were '1, 3 and 4' hence, the answer must be '2' RIGHT! sadly, 2 was wrong n so i lost 2 points coz of that.... gayness!!!

friday is sucha a great day, until u finish playing on saturday n then begins the procrastination, j-bridge my ass.... and i just realised today isn't friday yet, its still freakin thursday.. so lost!

lately ive been catching 22:33 bus alot... n falling asleep on my no leg chair with my mouth prob wide open n phone in my hand.. im falling asleep as i type... god bless i don't have to wake up early tmr... we have kimono taiken (dress up) n dance tmr near sch, so i'll be a slutty geisha... maybe show some skin n try seduce my girl classmates.. *cheeky grin*

(i like frogs. i like elephants more. しかし i love 山 the most)

嵐山 (arashi yama)

１。 kameちゃん　　　２。かわいい〜山ちゃん　　３。me　　４。とんかつちゃん　５。あにちゃん

first of all i apologise to those who may want to punch in the face for putting these up ... but like you have a choice =P enjoy it suckers XD well if its any consolation... im there too... and im not complaining =)

despite the stinking weather it was a phenomenal day... we missed the most important omatsuri (parade) coz we were too busy shopping... i got 2 pairs of toe socks.... my new fettish... i think... i mean thanks ah lun!! i am now officially a foot freak like you haha...

seems like the weeks fly by and not much has been accomplished.. im headed for a long weekend.. with only the thought of food to enlighten my day.. typing with my eyes closed, wishing there was a cigg in my left n a cuppa baileys on my right.. still taking a pass on ciggs, but baileys don't run ^^ watch me get drunk tmr in the library... backstabbing my teacher bout her armpit sweat... seriously... i beg of you... pls stop wearing that purple cardigan!!!

these days.. a tad emotionally unstable.. all my hype bottled up n no release... driving me into a tiny corner of insanity... square of confusion.. 2 doors away... whats this ill-omen stalking upon me.. missing every bus by a cross of a street.. too many thoughts and no tree to tell.. hardly a person listening, give me some attention.. cant fall in again, into this quicksand.... need to take hold.

nervous sensations of each n every tomorrow.

and for some decent human like photos....

the difference btw baka and kodomo.. not such a fine line after all.... i admit.. i am abit of both...

kyoto blows

my brains out... as the days pass, the more nostolgic i become..
i cant even speak my mind without having to hesitate then think twice, and still.. the words don't come out right..
it use to be two peas in a pod and now my peas gone, and so has the pod..
whats fiddling in those little minds.. cant it be simplified?
a little goes a long way... hidden in a box, ice packed, and still... i cant break the myth..
"setsumei shitekudasai" could you please? in a language i understand, and not words pulled out of your little blue book or sentences ending with a question mark.
"hakkiri shitekudasai" though im in no hurry, this dragging leaves me hanging mid-air... cant decide my next move.. could you please just pinch my face?
"hayaku shitekudasai" right, wuteva... until next time..

(don't try to read my mind, don't come close to unwind my thoughts.. )

What will you last be seen doing?

MISSING: annie

Was last seen trying to light your hair on fire

'What will you last be seen doing?' at QuizGalaxy.com

abbie : was last seen eating at arby's
ying : was last seen trying to do the macarena
zandra : was last seen laughing at a mafia boss

this is getting interesting...
PLEASE take the quiz n leave your answer as a comment, and i will add you to my list of 'what will you last be seen doing'

ma.mi.mu.me.mo mo mo mokudeki

raw stuff is good
caffeine is even better
but cute little boys are the best

this is what i sound like when i speak japanese.
and.... im having a brain freeze.
its been a long 6 hours in the library and hardly even 5 hours sleep each day.
really kills the cells.
so i'll just let my photos speak for itself today.

skype randoms are lame. find some real friends!

rad

i love this kid to bits!!
Kid devasted

one wave after another

(belated cooking class photo: sauteed chicken & vegetable.. egg soup? cumcumber miso (salad?)

first i'd like to say, happy birthday ying!! i hope you're doing something crazy and enjoying this day with ur man on of the hour!! thanks for inviting me to your bbq and i'll be there in spirit~ eating all the food while u crazy ppl are all drunk on the ground!! lobe u heaps~~

my daily bullcrap :
after the studying, it was the test, after the test, came the results, after seeing the results, its back to the library... with a blocknose and soar throat, one less friend and one more crush, one less lover came one more admirer. im still amazed how a persons perspective can change faster than the weather.. i should say im shocked... terribly.. though we say we won't let those of unimportance effect us, but what comes of it when its those we care about, who we slightly hope could be apart of our lives. whats this aura surrounding me everyday, pulling me to the left, nudging me to the right.. sending out signals and picking up hints along the way.. what am i waiting for, whats holding me back?

i finally got to watch a movie here in kyoto, frankly theres been a few 'firsts in kyoto' for me these few days.

1. first time at the cinemas (pirates of the carribean.. which to tell the truth i'd rather watch 3 hours of johnny on end, wondering on a deserted island talking to crabs or to himself for that matter) [for a better insight and critique, forward yourself to 'abbie : i'll update when i freakin want to', coz i agree with my girl, its really killing it for the actors]

2. caught my first cold.. what i want to know is who passed it on to me, and who would like a present? coz i could make you something special from all the tissues i've used.

3. had my first yakiniku tabehoudai (all u can eat), it was then, they realised my true powers of eating, and eating, don't talk to me coz im still eating.. another plate pls, and also one more of this, this, and 3 of that, took a rest and ate some more.. and last but not least.. the icecream haha

4. made my first japanese friend (who turned out to be somewhat of a stalker, so i take back the 'friend' bit, and no, winking is so not 'cool', neither is the word 'highrollers')

5. had my first african meal, uh huh, thats a first since the day i popped outta my mommy.. and it was deeeelicious. eggplant and mince meat, how much better does it get!! and then i asked myself, how is that african? i swear my mom makes that at home, but im not complaining. it beats canteen food hands down!

6. skipped class for the first time.. (coz i was down with the flu, and still am *snot dripping, huffing with ginger breathe*)..

im spending the day off to rest myself from all the nonsense and rejuvenate my brain cells.. i think i could just lie here on end staring at my aircon thinking to myself, 'why only if it was saturday everyday...' whilst daydreaming of grilled priscuitto wrapped brie cheese served with french bread duck paté.. roast duck rice.. chiffon egg on top.. laksa and vita soy.. chilli cafe chicken n basil fried rice!! oh.. someone give me some food~~

(learn to let go yet still be in control)

fruits galore my ass

im simply getting things out of my system, pls ignore.

some ppl eat bannanas.. others have it stuck up their asses... no big deal. we all have our shit days. but today i experienced communicating with someone who has a durian stuck up his ass!!

to that person: as if its any of my fault that you cant deal with your own shit.. as if its all of a sudden my bad coz you were wrong to begin with.. i freakin pointed it out for you n yet you chose to brush it off like u rekon you're fuckin superman! n now its all of a sudden all abt the kimochi.. GET REAL!! i don't need to sit here and take ur shit, i have better things to do. like splatting it all on here n getting it out of my system!!! even this is better than listening to ur full of crap excuses!! don't moan and groan all day on ur jealousy crap. fucking get over it already!!

i need to tell the whole world I HAVE ANOTHER FREAKIN TEST AGAIN!! im starting to get really tired.. and i mean both physically n mentally. im not getting enough time to procrastinate and its killing me bit by bit. i miss the "sitting there weekly blockbuster with abbie' days. n most of all i really miss smoking the shit, once again with abbie lol, we were like almost saimese twins... but what to do.. im suppose to be a nerd now. im suppose to feel this life is oh so fulfilling.. been the fact that i get to make the most of it, each and everyday. but the thing is i don't... life is sucha repetitive piece of crap. whether or not i want to do it.. it has to happen.. whether or not i feel happy about it.. it comes towards my way. what if don't feel like waking up tmr... what if i just want to lie there like a dead person and stare at my ceiling.

from the outside, life seems so beautiful.. like a flower in full bloom, but who cares for it when its been tramped on.. who gives a fuck? i don't want to have to feel complicated for reasons of no meaning. i don't want to tangle confusion into my life..or do i? i cant figure out where i stand. what will the next 2 years do for me, where will i end up. who will be by my side and how will i make these choices. make a move or take a step back, play it nice or be just who i am.. what am i suppose to feel.. and whats making me feel hurt right now. why are my eyebrows frowning n whats making my heart race. sinking... grasping for air,

im hungry. today i bought some really expensive beef. and if one more person tells me im 'kane mochi' im going to fucking kill that person. i said i'll be less extravigant if i lived in the mountains, but im not there yet am i!! instead i have to walk through diamaru's supermarket everyday looking at oishisou food and though my brains saying no, somehow it ends up being in my basket and then eventually in my tummy... yummy yummy yummy tummy, my tummy is yummy...

missing my stan

(this is for those, who like me, really miss my old hair. well what i really miss is my stanley... and his scissors.)

i've added some photos, in my previous posts, since thats where they belong.. i cant seem to load my photos from my mobile, i should say i cant figure out how.. as most of u already know im quite the dummy when it comes to this sort of stuff.

we had a class gathering at a classmates house today. it was pretty awesome. everyone made a dish each, some peoples dishes were called milk tea, biscuits and strawberries, but i rocked up with my japanese sauteed chicken n veges, which might i add took me 3 hours and almost my finger to make! my korean classmate, a guy!!! made the best korean meal i've ever had. 10 thousand times better than what we had in korea 2 years back. (ok kimchi house u still rule, but you're miles away and not even freakin open!) he's real husband material hahaha but too bad we already caught him strolling with a girl holding hands n all haha... anyways, i spent most of the night walking around chatting with some monkey ears on my head. i think everyones starting to realise im quite abnormal... as u can see im trying to slowly ease my weirdness on them. haha soon they'll get to know the real dumb ass me. after dinner we played some games.. pictionary, 007BANG, 369 369 etc. and this really stupid game my teacher made us play where u had to say in japanese.. i am (annie)... and the next person next to u would have to say (i am the person standing next to annie and i am....) and so on, lucky i was like the 3rd person in line so i didn't have to say like 18 times of the same crap and try remember everyones name.

next week we plan to have a bbq by the river.. i shall ask my korean mate how to make chilli marinated chicken like in kimchi house. i miss that shit!!

on sunday im going to climb some mountain called arashi yama... a group of korean n thai boys invited me to tag along. they are all from e class in other words they know konichiwa and maybe konbanwa, ok that was sort of mean, but what im trying to say is.. how the hell i am going to communicate with them i have no idea, but apparently we're going to have yakiniku at night and so thats good enough for me. i'll prob wear my monkey ears again to break the ice hahahaaa ok maybe not when im on the train n stuff... oh ya im getting my package tmr, so i should have some digital photos by then!! hopefully...

until then...

i miss u poos

i never get my fridays off anymore, unlike then at i see pee pee when i had too much time to spare and even more to procrastinate. if u (lun lun) gave me some thick framed glasses i'd be the nerdiest living thing inside and out. i've been to the library this week more than i have my entire life. (that includes the time i was sent there by peterson in yr 10, coz i was "making everyone laugh", not that im holding any grudges, coz it wasn't even me, but him and his stupid rat talk!)

i had a tasty bowl of cha siu ramen for dinner cost only 6bucks (aud)... although i do miss momotaro... this shit was better than all those ive had previously. my already broken english is deteriorating by the day, my japanese has yet to get better. but instead my chinese writing had improved by a tad. lifes slowed down, except for when im freaking myself out thinking im going to be late for school if i don't take bigger strides and walk faster.

im going to a 'inter-social cooking class tomorrow'... as lame as it sounds, im hoping it will be fun. except im actually paying to go cook my own food, so my conclusion is.. i better talk alot, or otherwise i must eat alot! (i am going on an empty stomach!) i still have no idea what it is we're making though, but i will update with a photo later on...

i watched a few eps of heroes.... it is very intense. i could be watching it now, and im not sure why i chose to blog instead.. but im sure it has something to do with my heading... and i do i do! i miss u poos and nutella alot! that leads me to another unforunate event of mine.... i spent a meals worth on this jar of chocolate spread and i was really looking forward to having it for breakfast that i even dreamt about it.... anyhow, i woke up in the morning n was like 'YES!' haven't had choco spread in sucha long time (roughly 5 months)... and when i open the jar im looking at it thinking, wat kind of gay ass japanese chocolate spread is this? doesn't even look like chocolate. then i look down at the poorly drawn picture on the jar to find that, they weren't of hazelnuts, but instead freakin walnuts!! god damn screw u japanese ppl and ur walnuts!! so i am still on mission to search for a tasty chocolate spread and wouldn't mind if i just so happen to find nutella. im admit im a real chocolate whore! and im a sucker for the nuts as well. but thats just who i am! i also miss chocolate by the blocks... (is it really just us aussies that eat them by the blocks? are we pigs? or does no one else know that u can make em like that, and that its so much tastier when you're shoving them and not just eating them.) i would kill to have a cadbury right now. and a magic brownie on the side =P

(desaturated is the new color)

Wolfgang Tillmans will u marry me?

he's coming to osaka! well actually it's his collection, its arrived and its freakin awesome. i've had the pleasure of seeing it once in melbourne, and still i wana see it again once more. even though there was only 1 piece of work, but the size of it!! you'll seriously fall madly in love! i miss Harry and his boring excursion talks, but they did me good. has anyone seen fur: and imaginary portrait of diane arbus btw? i caught abit of Mr Beans Holiday, for a man of few words he still cracks me up. i've done so much work today i think i deserve some strawberries, but who wants to wash them for me? has anyone ever had strawberries whilst soaking in the bathtub? kill two birds with one stone no? well off i go to take my bath. love u all!

allan! buy me a pork bun in shanghai! i want those mega sized ones stuffed with all sorts of goodies!

何とか生きてる...

(photos credited to akira, he's the one frowning in the photo & ya! im still stealing photos off ppl coz i have none thats digital.)

jibbed, unsatisfied, could've been avoided, no brainer! ... i'll live somehow... it'll work out... but whyyyyyyyyyyyy! why! why! why! i could go on forever asking why! but my conclusion is, maybe its a sign for me to invest in a hasselblad?? sign me up on the 2nd hand hasselblad wish list.. ps pretty please santa!!

i finally recieved my first box of goodies, inside there was my beloved freitag bob, my infamously brick like flash, food from home *drool* (肉鬆.. 統一肉燥米粉).... luckily i did come down to open the door coz i almost ignored it thinking it was the cable guy.... again.. (im not cheap, i would pay, i just really don't watch the tv here. tv's are stupid!)

so yesterday i finally made it to osaka and came back sunburnt like a pokadot hanky. i was a little disappointed with the food, but i ate it all anyways. i rekon i got some pretty good pictures.. though i have yet to have them developed, most likely do that tmr since i spent today unpacking my parcel, washed my clothes, tidied up my place n will need to replant my herbs in a sec since they're all wibbly wobbly, frowning so i take that they're tryna say "not enough soil.." i did get some really rad earphones, and a box of hairdye which im still not sure whether i should go through with, but im getting impatient with the blob on my head. i was ignorant of the fact that i looked like elton john under the sun, until i saw it on my classmates digi cam. so its likely i'll be doing it tonight whilst listening to the shins.... other than that i just wana be a bum today. coz i really need it.

(great news : papa's going home!)

hazy sunshine~

(above clockwise from curly hair fabian, simona, me n kate.. ontop of the camel hump, thats not my hat btw) photo credited to akira

2nd of May..our excursion to nara, sounds lame like im in year 3 carrying my lunch box with my juice and snacks ready to bribe my classmates. i really had no idea what to expect, my no hopes no regrets take wuteva comes my way cut short when a deer tried to head butt me with his horns, chomp all my deer snacks (rice crackers of some sort) in less than 2 photo snaps. bloody bastards! i would totally say back home and eventually i did in my head when i realised i had been snapping around for a good bloody 10 mins and not having wound the negative on my plastic all manual camera (yes, its all the brownies and bongs catching up on me and my short term memory). speaking of which, how many years exactly does it take to unwind the harm thats already been done and embedded in me? my shrivelling lungs on the inside and my patiently deteriorating liver. oh well, crap on that, coz that was a no can do question.

cont... so i thought i left melbourne already, and yet thy infamous "4 seasons a day" came back to haunt me. like seriously, rain in the morning > sunny on the bus > cloudy when we got off > rain after lunch> pouring rain when we were climbing this "mountain" (a camel hump more like), then just when i decided to put on my jacket when we get to the temple, the clouds decides to clear up and shine away. anyhow it was pissing me off, first of all coz i was getting acid water all over my arms, like im not spoilt in the sense like 'eww i don't wana touch it', but more like 'if i knew this was going to happen i would've come tightly wrapped with glad wrap like a head to toe clear mummy, (that been said, no not naked) so i wouldn't have to put up with the post stickiness.',

ok now getting to the most exciting happening of the day was the fact that i was told to get to sch by 7.30 so i could bags myself a seat, and one that wasn't a foldable chair, literally smack bang in the centre of the aisle, no head rests fullstop. i think the rest is pretty much self explanatory. so yea, been the greedy type i really wanted a "good" seat, one that had a window view, with the sun not shining on my side etc etc (though i didn't really know which side the sun was on, but wuteva)

i got up bright n early 5am pronto, did my usual, blended fresh fruit veggie juice, coffee and 20 mins of spacing out staring at nothing, got changed and headed for the subway asap. timing was all good, (ya i checked the timetable n all!) n finally got to the bus stop hoping that i hadn't just missed a bus like i do everyday. and i see on the timetable it says 05am (blank) 06am (blank) 07am 07 23 44 59, looked down at my mobile clock, 06 fucking 40.................. so i sat on the floor on the street n read my book as i waited. i eventually got to sch roughly 7.30 and i didn't see a personin sight, nor a bus, hardly a fly within that 300m range. and i was...... not impressed? wuteva, i bought myself a katsu sandwich and a cuppa coffee and sat on the staircase, and just as i was taking my last bite i finally saw someone waving at me, someone who had also been told to get here at 7.30. and from there on, i watched as my teacher arrived on her bike, then my classmates, and those i had suggested to try n get here asap... oh and then finally!! the girl who told she would come at 7.30 and advised me that i should too... arrived fashionably "on time" and that was that, i did end up getting a 'good' seat, so happy me =) but i felt bad since i am smaller and with shorter legs than most, so for some of the parts i sat in the middle... okay finito. i am going to sleep, i am so BLOODY tired, and im going to osaka tmr.

ps. i almost bought a dress made for pregnant women the other day coz i thought.... i don't know what i thought, i wasn't really thinking.

(bagaaaaaa baaba black sheep..... )

so i went for a walk

and i arrived in kyoto... things have changed rapidly in the past month, i'm back to the 'why don't u just kill me now' stage, but this time its somewhat different, coz i actually have my nose between books and no joke, its lasted 10 days now..... and so thats like what... another 355 days to go, and as u can see im trying to stay positive... although its all fresh n new, i feel disconnected from the rest of the world. it doesn't feel like im living a real life, rather feels more like im living someone elses life. unfamiliar. for now.
for those who haven't seen me in awhile, i meant to take photos n share it with u all, but as smart as i am, i left my camera chargers on the floor, in my bedroom, in taiwan..... haha but its on its way here..... by boat lol so hang in there, its coming soon! btw my hair is as short as..... a cow? ok for those who cant imagine i'll rephrase... as short as a boy. its somewhat nice that i don't really have to do much n the natural bed hair is bareable so i get more time to sleep than blow, dry, blah blah
so im really spose to be doing work right now, but i suddenly just remembered i still had such a thing called a 'blog', and i know u have been checking it everyday, yes YOU! haha i look forward to someone, I KNOW, ringing my door bell, coz so far the only guy who's rang my doorbell is the cable fee collector guy and i turned off the lights and pretended i wasn't home. (the lady told me to do so, so i wouldn't have to pay for cable, coz like sif i watch japanese dodgy tv anyways, half the time its this black dude going 'stretch your muscles' infomercial crap) anyways, i think thats some what of a insight to my life right now.... questions, just holler!

ps akong where the hell r u?
ah lun hows working full time mate? i miss ya
helen... super sammy... i miss eating food with u guys
abbie.... nintendo ds blue looks CRAP! im waiting for the black, or maybe white
hendy, stop getting drunk and emailing me on friday nights! get stoned then call me!
mama... i... u already know what im gon say, say hi to duk, miki, joe, btw was he foreal abt staying at his place in tokyo?
duck, goodluck with everything! you'll do just fine!
ying, pat your tempura for me, n i miss the mega size meals u always cook for me!
ah i think thats it, im outta friends....
play safe n stay safe mates