rock on. scream on. dream on.

trés melancholy~

2009-06-15T02:03:00.005+09:00

its devastating things have turned out this way. im cynical and ruthless but never have i thought this is how i would be treated. to love is to blind your eyes, deaf your ears, and follow your jackass-of-a-heart and there you have it, smack bang in your face. i admit, i can be pretty cold hearted, but im sure i wasn't always this way. maybe you-n-i only deserve this much but somehow im still filled with rage when you turn a cold shoulder. so human-being of me. and i thought i was somewhat stronger than that. what a laughing stock that is. you can't make me believe you nor could i force you to give more. no fight no end we part ways. what's sad is there isn't even room for friendship anymore. what a disappointment........ sometimes im not even sure what im crying for. just that my chest tightens and my nose blocks n then this sad feeling comes over me then after awhile it gets a little better. except i think we've run into a dead-end. it's called the end.

a dosage of sarcasm per day

2009-06-14T00:36:00.011+09:00

Hi, I am not looking at your profile and frankly, i am not one bit interested in whether you are a nice, gentle, or balding near your crutch. So why don't you leave your sadness to share with some other sad girl coz why else would you be scavenging online Mr. IM-SO-SAD.

If not coz of my pure kind heart, i would have gone ahead and replied him this no more no less. (don't laugh, i think i'm actually becoming nicer these days.) You may call me extreme but i am totally against meeting people online. Purely protocol to 21st century reality.

Except i myself, was quite sad today for a sec. I'd suddenly realized it'll be a long while till i'll get to eat green mangoes (I know, it's very sad in both sense). It also saddens me to know for a fact that the next time, if ever, I go to Thailand, not only will i be traveling as a pure tourist, but also roaming the city without 4 wheels. A city i've learned to love for its food and culture turned into detest due to airheaded crack heads who reason with no explanation. fuck me crazy but i still cant get over it. It's such irony that people who seem normal on the outside are the ones who are truly fucked up and yet people who seem kinda *ahem* weird are the real nice ones. *cough.. Soi.. cough cough* HAHA

It's so true. I'm still young & ignorant, vain & gullible.
I think its time to chuck my sixth sense out the window and call it quits.

but still, i do not believe in meeting people online fullstop.

to 'n' back

2009-06-08T23:22:00.011+09:00

for more photos of the trip : http://picasaweb.google.com/annie.in.taipei/KoreaJejuIsland#

What seemed like a long time at the time in actual fact flew by just like that.
our brief Korea : Jeju Island break was meant to be a battery reboot trip, but instead turned into a major fatigue boost. you'd think joining a tour would make things easier coz after all, how hard is it when all you have to do is get on n off a bus when told to. easy-peasy! well try doing it that about 15 times in a day, ontop of which only takes no more than 10mins between each stop. could the island be any smaller! *smack my own head* at one point we got off to go to a orange farm, to find that oranges weren't in season so what do u know, all the oranges we saw were fake plastic oranges hung on by the farmers to CREATE a orangy farm scene for visual effects. even the ones on the ground were painted kinda brown to make it seem like they were half rotten. but none-the-less it was a pleasureable trip since we got to eat tons of fresh uni by the sea on the last day. *weeeeeeeee* thankyou to the at-first-weird-n-creepy-but-then-turned-out-to-be-very-nice-gambling-dude in our tour for telling us where to find those "sea-women" who sell fresh uni. (see picture above)

after getting the chance to use some of my drama-tv learnt broken korean, im all the more motivated to learn the language. doubling my all things korean craze. unfortunately no sight of dobboki (rice-cakes) this time, though i did see those microwave packet ones at 7/11 but its just not the same as spotting a dobboki truck by the side of the road, wok full of flaming red sauce covered rice cakes!!! we want the real deal eating it outta those polyester bowls!!!!! guess i'll just have to pray for better luck next time. (i will see u there zandra!! haha) i propose we shall all meet up there! that would be so cool!! (THATS SO COOL!!) also it would be alot cheaper than holland. since we all know that holland is a little out of reach right now. money wise that is. well, if anyones interested, let me know coz im all up for it!! haha

ps. stay safe all my friends, especially those in the kansai area what with the H1N1 hope you guys are still all alive n dandy!
much love~

2009-05-27T00:27:00.002+09:00

photo taken at Kobe-Rokkosan-Arima

To those i miss, i know i haven't being keeping in touch with you guys for the past 2 months, n i know i suck at it, but trust me, my life is a real bore right now n i'd love to bore u with it too, but lets keep that for next time. but i do miss you all very very much. yes you too! as of the virus going around, pls stay healthy and come visit me when u get the chance people! before i actually find a job n get busy haha. (yes im still jobless at the moment.)

to my jiyukuukan buddies. zandra. aru. soi. ryuu-tou. tsai ling. even tamago. haha I MISS KARAOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

recently..

2009-03-19T22:19:00.002+09:00

things have been kinda hectic what with packing n all, well that n eating, drinking, countless rounds of karaoke-ing, then back to my rubbish dump like apartment for more packing. n it surely seems like it will never end. but all will have to come to an end next wed. sad enough the people who read my blog all know my schedule, but i just wanted to say thanks to everyone... but especially Zandra (my slave, lol =P ) for helping me and putting up with my endless bitching and meaniness. (i know there is no such word, but u know what i mean.. right?) and also i will miss all of you's when i leave, so lets party even harder before i leave and before school starts all over again for the rest of ya!!! hia hia hia (ryuutou's evil laugh) HAHAHA

oh n i really like my new camera =P

aru's right...

2009-02-26T18:25:00.003+09:00

i should shut up, n get off my ass while im at it too.

i need some kinda new motivation! but unfortunately as sad as it may seem, the only things that motivates me are mainly related to shopping.. when i say shopping im not talking about clothes n stuff but more like when i find a new hobby n think 'oh wow thats so cool!! i wanna do that too!' n out i go to spend a load of money on things that i need to start or complete my new hobby.

like for example. i went through a 'architecture is so cool, i want to design my own house n draw a blueprint (even though i don't know how, but i can just make it up =P ) n since architectural computer softwares are too complicated n impossible to understand i'll just go old school n stick to pencil n paper. so i went out n bought like a nice new A3 drawing book with gridded paper, tracing paper, pencils of all sorts like B, B1, H, H2, F, a lump of knead-able eraser and to top it off a few architecture magazines for inspiration to help get my ideas rolling~

i drew one page, 'my future home'...

the other 299 pages are so far still blank, but you never know. i might pick it up again someday right?

what scares me is, i really remind myself of Becky Brandon nee Bloomwood. She is the narrator of the series of books im reading right now called 'Confessions of a Shopaholic'. im sure most of you have heard of it, n im also pretty sure you can guess what its about n why she reminds me of myself.

i always need some kinda muse. n i think photography was it for awhile, until i went to college n got assignments n even then i was always just spending money to produce my photos. buying equipment i don't necessarily need. but the school work was the push. after i graduated i knew i didn't have the talent n i don't want to spend 3 hours in front of the computer retouching on photoshop. so i gave up n i say shit like 'film is better'... maybe film is better, but film is money. see where im getting at?

im kinda disgusted by myself. so i just sit at home n even though its a little sad but atleast this way im not spending money =P

the wonders of appausable thumbs.

2009-02-21T23:58:00.007+09:00

as i click n drag. what took me 2 years to build vanishes out of sight.

deleted. gone.

as i reach over for some tissue i think, 'if only humans could donate their tears'. too many if only's.

useless. move on.

but it all remains in my head. engraved into my brain. burnt a permanent scar.

hide it. cover it.

its no use. nothing changes. not the facts nor my feelings. devouring me alive.

sick n sickening.

where can i find a rubber that erases memory.

as i step onto the single lane..

2009-02-16T18:07:00.005+09:00

the sky fell a breeze of snow. paving way to a new road i'm forced to take.
'the end of one road will lead to the start of another', so they say.
the word bleak runs through my head as i sink into my chair. my no legged chair.
the chair thats given me warmth through this winter.
the chair thats patted me on the back, countless of times.
unlike the rest, its never let me down at times when i needed it the most.
thank you to those who have been there for me. n if you haven't, don't feel guilty, i probably wasn't there for you either.

as winter sweeps in again, i say goodbye to romance.

The Differences are...

2009-02-13T14:31:00.008+09:00

.. that some people make cakes for their girlfriends, where as others cheat.
its not exactly about been lucky or not, its more the fact that if you give more, you tend to receive less.
why that is, is pretty much self explanatory, but i will elaborate for those idiots who cant see if for themselves. however, note: i am aware some idiots just choose not to understand. its ok, go right ahead, live your selfish carefree life. for one day, when the time comes, you'll regret and it'll be too late.

the human nature of giving, is not chosen by oneself. its also most definitely not something we decide consciously. (not in the right mind atleast.) we give because our inner subconscious transmits a certain urge to do so, due to love. sadly to say, most times we are just under the illusion that we are in love. the idiot who's more "in love" is the one who gets lost in it. therefore, in a relationship, there's always one party who gives more n receives less, hence the other gives less but somehow still ends up receiving more. people who dont go through the hardship of giving, wont understand the misery one goes through waiting for reciprocation. therefore has no idea what its like to be unloved, unappreciated. how one can effect another through the tinniest of gestures. how can anyone understand what another person feels if not having been through the same problem?! people say, 'i understand, i know what u mean', do they REALLY? no! how could u possibly imagine the pain of a man who's been stabbed to the chest with a knife without actually having it done to you? you may think you know. but you dont.

so, back to the story of the idiot who's in love. this idiot chooses to be patient and gives n gives, waits n waits. until one day he/she realises. this has got to stop once n for all! but how do we stop our inner-selves? its like the demon of our souls, have u ever seen the demon lose? the answer is no! so we figure out a solution n adjust to the situation. we come up with a bright new idea. instead of suppressing ourselves, we ask for something in return to feel fair n just. well, thats gotta be the stupidest solution in the world! because nothing thats done outta force means shit! well actually, what i meant to say is, exactly that. it means shit! shit all! so why do we do this to ourselves? what good do we get out of it? here comes the sad part. all we wanted was to just be loved. we needed to feel loved. the same way we would love another. the way we would sacrifice and change ourselves for another. whether its making an extra effort in taking notes on what our loved ones likes to eat, the music they enjoy or make sacrifices to fit to their time n schedules. and before you know it, we've lost ourselves. we're exhausted. we feel small. we doubt love. we've even given up some friendships coz of love. n he says 'no one asked you to do any of those things!!' right. you've got a point, but ...... suddenly its starting to feel like its not worth it anymore. because at this point, this love we have is getting inconvenient for our selfish loved ones. coz we are no longer giving without complaining. we are asking for more than we ever have. we are not who they first met. the very 'generous' human being. from here on, we are pictured as the vicious demons who suck their lives away. the ones who ask for unreasonable things. they just dont see, that what we need is to know that they are also willing to do and give up anything as we would for them. if only they would show us. if only they could understand without all these explanations.

people have told me enough is enough. i've done enough preaching. i've tried hard enough. i've made enough sacrifices. my social conditions aren't exactly THAT bad. not to the point that I have to suffer for reasons I cant put together. except theres too much to let go off, yet not enough to keep going. if only i was bastard enough to just leap into the arms of another man... that would ease some of the pain atleast.

to think, breakup is just a 7 letter word. yet its so hard to do.

Cocosuma : The Source

2009-02-03T22:11:00.005+09:00

this could well be the end of my dreams
gave it all i had, now i see it slip away
things are never as close as they seem
we keep turning round n round when we should go straight ahead

now it feels like its the end of the world
do u know what i mean? have u been through it all?
theres this pain in your chest that u can get rid off
did u feel the same when she packed her stuff

everything is gonna be alright..... tonight~

oh i'd like to be on a boat to hawaii
but those four white walls are closing down on me
i had my share of happy time and painful ones
im gonna close my eyes, let it go

i don't know..

2009-01-16T20:31:00.003+09:00

i don't know what im suppose to feel, if im suppose to feel sad, scared, annoyed, pissed, angry, frustrated, unwanted, unneeded, outcasted.... if anything i know im lost.

i don't know where my decisions will take me, if they are even right, it they will pull through, but i know im doing it out of spite. but maybe its time to let go won't u agree? .... no, no one agrees, coz no one even reads this shit. this page where i only come vent my anger as if to show the rest of the world, and hope someone would come save me whenever i run into trouble. what am i waiting for? why am i still waiting?

as usual im the only one who even gives a shit. everyone else is carrying on with their life.. drinking away their troubles. why cant i do that? why cant i get drunk, wasted and get hit by a car? my life is so screwed........................ im disrespectful, im voilent and ungenerous........ well then just send me to hell. pls.........

every once in a while..

2008-11-24T16:43:00.004+09:00

half a year later, n now as i read i feel i knew already then.. before it had happened..
you'd say im boasting if i said im telepathic.. but its no understatement..

sixth sense, trust it or don't believe in it.

wat kills is not the accuracy.. but rather the truth we find. did i really want to find out? im not sure, but... when we hit rock bottom don't we all turn our heads n call it 'gods doings'.. for this is the only way of escape. the only tunnel way out... out to our own Utopia.. so we won't have to face the cold hard truth. and so im once again at this intersection. lost n put to test. how do people decide exactly?

so what should my point of view be.. n where exactly do i stand..

f2.8

2008-05-24T22:38:00.003+09:00

drip as the rain falls.
nothing better than a sleep in rainy saturday.
lazing around.
better described procrastinating.
listening to songs i cant make sense of.
driving me nuts.
bacon lettuce sandwich with a sprinkle of pepper.
sip of coffee.
my ideal saturday morning (..i thought)
snap.
photos to keep memory.
incase somewhere down the road i'd forget how it went by.
confused.
unscrambling thoughts of yesterday.
pouring.
as it gets louder.
torn on the inside.
unwinding anger into words.
reading messages i cant decipher.
trying to figure out all the befores n after.
questions i wish could be answered.
straight forward.
losing faith.
it dawns on me.
losing trust.
sooner or later.
losing it.
pull it together.
scenarios flip through my head.
investment. stock fall. something like that.
one mistake.
jealousy ontop of hatred.
10 seconds.
too late.
46 days.
more like a lifetime.

whats next?

no boundaries

2007-10-29T20:13:00.000+09:00

hence no motivation, dwelling back on those high school days, the rebels we were, well i won't speak for everyone, just im sure i was. the option of comparison only gives the human being the enormous room for complains. you never really think twice why it is that you have those so called "human reflexes", but we conveniently blame it on that thing we call "natural human emotions". just when do we make do with whats available and ask for no more. as this chilly autumn has swept in, i've almost shifted into full gear (i mean black thermals covered from neck down almost enough to rob a bank and pose as 007). not so much as expected and im thinking if this is autumn, then exactly what is winter? since being a melbournian, (mind you that is the first time i've ever called myself that) i've never really felt the full impact of a cold front. i am however struglling with the concept of "layered fashion". its bad enough those morning and night temperatures drop horrendously, and ontop of that, i have to contemplate between, being warm, or being "cool". a mere sacrifice for fashion will just have u end up in a huge mountain of tissues, that flu is already going around and im almost sure i could really do without it this time round. so back to the complaining, why do i feel like im still complaining? cant i get over it and just be done. someone please tell me how i can get over it and be done.

kinda....

2007-08-07T15:30:00.000+09:00

just moving on as i go these days, not much planned in the sack. everythings coming into place ready for semester 2 but what needs polishing is my long lost brain and deteriorating books. already half way through the holidays, as usual times like these fly... seen one too many hanabi's, slurping two too many ice-creams (my valid reason: its boiling hot!) ate three too many yaki-niku all you can eat, bought four too many bottles of sauces... the list goes on forever... but the worst of them all would be my shiny metallic pink bike was stolen 2 weeks ago, so now im riding a 2nd hand silver, which is my motto of the year, whats 2nd whats best. i believe last year was, whatever looks gross always tastes the best.. anyhow... im over it, its gone, nothing to be done, however, i leave my last word for the theif.. 'crash!'.... after having watched the movie crash again, i reassured myself, whats goes around only just comes right back around... that person shall get what he/she deserves... ok im ranting... i'll stop.

continuing on to some better news.. well not so much news but recent happenings i guess.... i got to go Universal Studioes Japan at the start of the holidays... wasn't the best rides, since i'd been on most of them in LA but spiderman was fun... shrek 4D was entertaining, they had squirting chairs... well fun at first, n by the end i almost wanted to just rip the chair apart... i bought a really cute elmo raincoat poncho... just as the rainy season had left us. so i was so smart to wear it this one day when it was spitting rain and i swear after a rough 5 minute ride from my place to school, i was more wet with sweat than anything else... plastic... wat more can u say... i also bought shrek's donkey ears, comes with the tail as well XD such a impulsive buy, but i managed to wear it the whole day, all the way back home on the train n as i bike home so i'd get my moneys worth... coz i know for a fact i might never ever wear it again... just like that mini-mouse umbrella i forced my brother to buy me at disneyland hong kong hahaa... wat are brothers for eh! btw i also managed to steal some really wack 3D glasses... as usual i left half broke n really ripped off.... we literally stayed there for 10 hours and got on just about every ride n caught every show... i left a happy girl... until we had to walk so so so far to catch the train...

my warui gakusei n me (shika1+2)

2007-06-21T23:25:00.000+09:00

is getting NDS's, metallic silver for him n metallic pink for me.. since im cute-r n can pull it off *ha* haven't blogged anything interesting in awhile, mainly coz i've been married to the library for the past month n now on the verge of divorcing it.. since ive found my shika2.. boderline shiawase n life will be even better once i move closer to school.. im so looking forward to packing... jyanai! though i'll be in utopia once i get my bed, tv n Wii... on top of which, now i won't have to look for one that comes with a free hot guy... coz im...
tagged! shika-ing all day long... (swahili for pashing) he has a noice butt too *lifts eyebrow and points wheres wally style* sadly for those who drool can continue to drool... coz now that he's off the meat market, hearts shatter for this hunk... baby pink hot pink no more... coz metallic pink kicks ass!

so i got my results back today..... avg 82 n now i must shout akira steak.... *hideous face* sif 98 on ur kanji u freak. but i swear i would've kicked his ass if i had studied harder for my kanji test and maybe scored another 2 points if i hadn't fallen asleep in my listening test.... FUCK, i swear i was listening, with my eyes closed then the next thing i hear is them asking for the answer n since all the other answers i had written were '1, 3 and 4' hence, the answer must be '2' RIGHT! sadly, 2 was wrong n so i lost 2 points coz of that.... gayness!!!

friday is sucha a great day, until u finish playing on saturday n then begins the procrastination, j-bridge my ass.... and i just realised today isn't friday yet, its still freakin thursday.. so lost!

lately ive been catching 22:33 bus alot... n falling asleep on my no leg chair with my mouth prob wide open n phone in my hand.. im falling asleep as i type... god bless i don't have to wake up early tmr... we have kimono taiken (dress up) n dance tmr near sch, so i'll be a slutty geisha... maybe show some skin n try seduce my girl classmates.. *cheeky grin*

(i like frogs. i like elephants more. しかし i love 山 the most)

嵐山　(arashi yama)

2007-06-16T02:56:00.000+09:00

１。 kameちゃん　　　２。かわいい〜山ちゃん　　３。me　　４。とんかつちゃん　５。あにちゃん

first of all i apologise to those who may want to punch in the face for putting these up ... but like you have a choice =P enjoy it suckers XD well if its any consolation... im there too... and im not complaining =)

despite the stinking weather it was a phenomenal day... we missed the most important omatsuri (parade) coz we were too busy shopping... i got 2 pairs of toe socks.... my new fettish... i think... i mean thanks ah lun!! i am now officially a foot freak like you haha...

seems like the weeks fly by and not much has been accomplished.. im headed for a long weekend.. with only the thought of food to enlighten my day.. typing with my eyes closed, wishing there was a cigg in my left n a cuppa baileys on my right.. still taking a pass on ciggs, but baileys don't run ^^ watch me get drunk tmr in the library... backstabbing my teacher bout her armpit sweat... seriously... i beg of you... pls stop wearing that purple cardigan!!!

these days.. a tad emotionally unstable.. all my hype bottled up n no release... driving me into a tiny corner of insanity... square of confusion.. 2 doors away... whats this ill-omen stalking upon me.. missing every bus by a cross of a street.. too many thoughts and no tree to tell.. hardly a person listening, give me some attention.. cant fall in again, into this quicksand.... need to take hold.

nervous sensations of each n every tomorrow.

and for some decent human like photos....

2007-06-16T02:37:00.000+09:00

the difference btw baka and kodomo.. not such a fine line after all.... i admit.. i am abit of both...

kyoto blows

2007-06-13T00:07:00.000+09:00

my brains out... as the days pass, the more nostolgic i become..
i cant even speak my mind without having to hesitate then think twice, and still.. the words don't come out right..
it use to be two peas in a pod and now my peas gone, and so has the pod..
whats fiddling in those little minds.. cant it be simplified?
a little goes a long way... hidden in a box, ice packed, and still... i cant break the myth..
"setsumei shitekudasai" could you please? in a language i understand, and not words pulled out of your little blue book or sentences ending with a question mark.
"hakkiri shitekudasai" though im in no hurry, this dragging leaves me hanging mid-air... cant decide my next move.. could you please just pinch my face?
"hayaku shitekudasai" right, wuteva... until next time..

(don't try to read my mind, don't come close to unwind my thoughts.. )

What will you last be seen doing?

2007-06-07T21:59:00.000+09:00

MISSING: annie

Was last seen trying to light your hair on fire

'What will you last be seen doing?' at QuizGalaxy.com

abbie : was last seen eating at arby's
ying : was last seen trying to do the macarena
zandra : was last seen laughing at a mafia boss

this is getting interesting...
PLEASE take the quiz n leave your answer as a comment, and i will add you to my list of 'what will you last be seen doing'

ma.mi.mu.me.mo mo mo mokudeki

2007-06-06T22:32:00.000+09:00

raw stuff is good
caffeine is even better
but cute little boys are the best

this is what i sound like when i speak japanese.
and.... im having a brain freeze.
its been a long 6 hours in the library and hardly even 5 hours sleep each day.
really kills the cells.
so i'll just let my photos speak for itself today.

skype randoms are lame. find some real friends!

rad

2007-06-03T17:17:00.000+09:00

i love this kid to bits!!
Kid devasted

one wave after another

2007-06-02T00:14:00.000+09:00

(belated cooking class photo: sauteed chicken & vegetable.. egg soup? cumcumber miso (salad?)

first i'd like to say, happy birthday ying!! i hope you're doing something crazy and enjoying this day with ur man on of the hour!! thanks for inviting me to your bbq and i'll be there in spirit~ eating all the food while u crazy ppl are all drunk on the ground!! lobe u heaps~~

my daily bullcrap :
after the studying, it was the test, after the test, came the results, after seeing the results, its back to the library... with a blocknose and soar throat, one less friend and one more crush, one less lover came one more admirer. im still amazed how a persons perspective can change faster than the weather.. i should say im shocked... terribly.. though we say we won't let those of unimportance effect us, but what comes of it when its those we care about, who we slightly hope could be apart of our lives. whats this aura surrounding me everyday, pulling me to the left, nudging me to the right.. sending out signals and picking up hints along the way.. what am i waiting for, whats holding me back?

i finally got to watch a movie here in kyoto, frankly theres been a few 'firsts in kyoto' for me these few days.

1. first time at the cinemas (pirates of the carribean.. which to tell the truth i'd rather watch 3 hours of johnny on end, wondering on a deserted island talking to crabs or to himself for that matter) [for a better insight and critique, forward yourself to 'abbie : i'll update when i freakin want to', coz i agree with my girl, its really killing it for the actors]

2. caught my first cold.. what i want to know is who passed it on to me, and who would like a present? coz i could make you something special from all the tissues i've used.

3. had my first yakiniku tabehoudai (all u can eat), it was then, they realised my true powers of eating, and eating, don't talk to me coz im still eating.. another plate pls, and also one more of this, this, and 3 of that, took a rest and ate some more.. and last but not least.. the icecream haha

4. made my first japanese friend (who turned out to be somewhat of a stalker, so i take back the 'friend' bit, and no, winking is so not 'cool', neither is the word 'highrollers')

5. had my first african meal, uh huh, thats a first since the day i popped outta my mommy.. and it was deeeelicious. eggplant and mince meat, how much better does it get!! and then i asked myself, how is that african? i swear my mom makes that at home, but im not complaining. it beats canteen food hands down!

6. skipped class for the first time.. (coz i was down with the flu, and still am *snot dripping, huffing with ginger breathe*)..

im spending the day off to rest myself from all the nonsense and rejuvenate my brain cells.. i think i could just lie here on end staring at my aircon thinking to myself, 'why only if it was saturday everyday...' whilst daydreaming of grilled priscuitto wrapped brie cheese served with french bread duck paté.. roast duck rice.. chiffon egg on top.. laksa and vita soy.. chilli cafe chicken n basil fried rice!! oh.. someone give me some food~~

(learn to let go yet still be in control)

fruits galore my ass

2007-05-24T20:15:00.000+09:00

im simply getting things out of my system, pls ignore.

some ppl eat bannanas.. others have it stuck up their asses... no big deal. we all have our shit days. but today i experienced communicating with someone who has a durian stuck up his ass!!

to that person: as if its any of my fault that you cant deal with your own shit.. as if its all of a sudden my bad coz you were wrong to begin with.. i freakin pointed it out for you n yet you chose to brush it off like u rekon you're fuckin superman! n now its all of a sudden all abt the kimochi.. GET REAL!! i don't need to sit here and take ur shit, i have better things to do. like splatting it all on here n getting it out of my system!!! even this is better than listening to ur full of crap excuses!! don't moan and groan all day on ur jealousy crap. fucking get over it already!!

i need to tell the whole world I HAVE ANOTHER FREAKIN TEST AGAIN!! im starting to get really tired.. and i mean both physically n mentally. im not getting enough time to procrastinate and its killing me bit by bit. i miss the "sitting there weekly blockbuster with abbie' days. n most of all i really miss smoking the shit, once again with abbie lol, we were like almost saimese twins... but what to do.. im suppose to be a nerd now. im suppose to feel this life is oh so fulfilling.. been the fact that i get to make the most of it, each and everyday. but the thing is i don't... life is sucha repetitive piece of crap. whether or not i want to do it.. it has to happen.. whether or not i feel happy about it.. it comes towards my way. what if don't feel like waking up tmr... what if i just want to lie there like a dead person and stare at my ceiling.

from the outside, life seems so beautiful.. like a flower in full bloom, but who cares for it when its been tramped on.. who gives a fuck? i don't want to have to feel complicated for reasons of no meaning. i don't want to tangle confusion into my life..or do i? i cant figure out where i stand. what will the next 2 years do for me, where will i end up. who will be by my side and how will i make these choices. make a move or take a step back, play it nice or be just who i am.. what am i suppose to feel.. and whats making me feel hurt right now. why are my eyebrows frowning n whats making my heart race. sinking... grasping for air,

im hungry. today i bought some really expensive beef. and if one more person tells me im 'kane mochi' im going to fucking kill that person. i said i'll be less extravigant if i lived in the mountains, but im not there yet am i!! instead i have to walk through diamaru's supermarket everyday looking at oishisou food and though my brains saying no, somehow it ends up being in my basket and then eventually in my tummy... yummy yummy yummy tummy, my tummy is yummy...

missing my stan

2007-05-19T01:05:00.000+09:00

(this is for those, who like me, really miss my old hair. well what i really miss is my stanley... and his scissors.)

i've added some photos, in my previous posts, since thats where they belong.. i cant seem to load my photos from my mobile, i should say i cant figure out how.. as most of u already know im quite the dummy when it comes to this sort of stuff.

we had a class gathering at a classmates house today. it was pretty awesome. everyone made a dish each, some peoples dishes were called milk tea, biscuits and strawberries, but i rocked up with my japanese sauteed chicken n veges, which might i add took me 3 hours and almost my finger to make! my korean classmate, a guy!!! made the best korean meal i've ever had. 10 thousand times better than what we had in korea 2 years back. (ok kimchi house u still rule, but you're miles away and not even freakin open!) he's real husband material hahaha but too bad we already caught him strolling with a girl holding hands n all haha... anyways, i spent most of the night walking around chatting with some monkey ears on my head. i think everyones starting to realise im quite abnormal... as u can see im trying to slowly ease my weirdness on them. haha soon they'll get to know the real dumb ass me. after dinner we played some games.. pictionary, 007BANG, 369 369 etc. and this really stupid game my teacher made us play where u had to say in japanese.. i am (annie)... and the next person next to u would have to say (i am the person standing next to annie and i am....) and so on, lucky i was like the 3rd person in line so i didn't have to say like 18 times of the same crap and try remember everyones name.

next week we plan to have a bbq by the river.. i shall ask my korean mate how to make chilli marinated chicken like in kimchi house. i miss that shit!!

on sunday im going to climb some mountain called arashi yama... a group of korean n thai boys invited me to tag along. they are all from e class in other words they know konichiwa and maybe konbanwa, ok that was sort of mean, but what im trying to say is.. how the hell i am going to communicate with them i have no idea, but apparently we're going to have yakiniku at night and so thats good enough for me. i'll prob wear my monkey ears again to break the ice hahahaaa ok maybe not when im on the train n stuff... oh ya im getting my package tmr, so i should have some digital photos by then!! hopefully...

until then...

i miss u poos

2007-05-12T23:38:00.000+09:00

i never get my fridays off anymore, unlike then at i see pee pee when i had too much time to spare and even more to procrastinate. if u (lun lun) gave me some thick framed glasses i'd be the nerdiest living thing inside and out. i've been to the library this week more than i have my entire life. (that includes the time i was sent there by peterson in yr 10, coz i was "making everyone laugh", not that im holding any grudges, coz it wasn't even me, but him and his stupid rat talk!)

i had a tasty bowl of cha siu ramen for dinner cost only 6bucks (aud)... although i do miss momotaro... this shit was better than all those ive had previously. my already broken english is deteriorating by the day, my japanese has yet to get better. but instead my chinese writing had improved by a tad. lifes slowed down, except for when im freaking myself out thinking im going to be late for school if i don't take bigger strides and walk faster.

im going to a 'inter-social cooking class tomorrow'... as lame as it sounds, im hoping it will be fun. except im actually paying to go cook my own food, so my conclusion is.. i better talk alot, or otherwise i must eat alot! (i am going on an empty stomach!) i still have no idea what it is we're making though, but i will update with a photo later on...

i watched a few eps of heroes.... it is very intense. i could be watching it now, and im not sure why i chose to blog instead.. but im sure it has something to do with my heading... and i do i do! i miss u poos and nutella alot! that leads me to another unforunate event of mine.... i spent a meals worth on this jar of chocolate spread and i was really looking forward to having it for breakfast that i even dreamt about it.... anyhow, i woke up in the morning n was like 'YES!' haven't had choco spread in sucha long time (roughly 5 months)... and when i open the jar im looking at it thinking, wat kind of gay ass japanese chocolate spread is this? doesn't even look like chocolate. then i look down at the poorly drawn picture on the jar to find that, they weren't of hazelnuts, but instead freakin walnuts!! god damn screw u japanese ppl and ur walnuts!! so i am still on mission to search for a tasty chocolate spread and wouldn't mind if i just so happen to find nutella. im admit im a real chocolate whore! and im a sucker for the nuts as well. but thats just who i am! i also miss chocolate by the blocks... (is it really just us aussies that eat them by the blocks? are we pigs? or does no one else know that u can make em like that, and that its so much tastier when you're shoving them and not just eating them.) i would kill to have a cadbury right now. and a magic brownie on the side =P

(desaturated is the new color)

Wolfgang Tillmans will u marry me?

2007-05-08T00:07:00.000+09:00

he's coming to osaka! well actually it's his collection, its arrived and its freakin awesome. i've had the pleasure of seeing it once in melbourne, and still i wana see it again once more. even though there was only 1 piece of work, but the size of it!! you'll seriously fall madly in love! i miss Harry and his boring excursion talks, but they did me good. has anyone seen fur: and imaginary portrait of diane arbus btw? i caught abit of Mr Beans Holiday, for a man of few words he still cracks me up. i've done so much work today i think i deserve some strawberries, but who wants to wash them for me? has anyone ever had strawberries whilst soaking in the bathtub? kill two birds with one stone no? well off i go to take my bath. love u all!

allan! buy me a pork bun in shanghai! i want those mega sized ones stuffed with all sorts of goodies!

何とか生きてる...

2007-05-04T12:36:00.000+09:00

(photos credited to akira, he's the one frowning in the photo & ya! im still stealing photos off ppl coz i have none thats digital.)

jibbed, unsatisfied, could've been avoided, no brainer! ... i'll live somehow... it'll work out... but whyyyyyyyyyyyy! why! why! why! i could go on forever asking why! but my conclusion is, maybe its a sign for me to invest in a hasselblad?? sign me up on the 2nd hand hasselblad wish list.. ps pretty please santa!!

i finally recieved my first box of goodies, inside there was my beloved freitag bob, my infamously brick like flash, food from home *drool* (肉鬆.. 統一肉燥米粉).... luckily i did come down to open the door coz i almost ignored it thinking it was the cable guy.... again.. (im not cheap, i would pay, i just really don't watch the tv here. tv's are stupid!)

so yesterday i finally made it to osaka and came back sunburnt like a pokadot hanky. i was a little disappointed with the food, but i ate it all anyways. i rekon i got some pretty good pictures.. though i have yet to have them developed, most likely do that tmr since i spent today unpacking my parcel, washed my clothes, tidied up my place n will need to replant my herbs in a sec since they're all wibbly wobbly, frowning so i take that they're tryna say "not enough soil.." i did get some really rad earphones, and a box of hairdye which im still not sure whether i should go through with, but im getting impatient with the blob on my head. i was ignorant of the fact that i looked like elton john under the sun, until i saw it on my classmates digi cam. so its likely i'll be doing it tonight whilst listening to the shins.... other than that i just wana be a bum today. coz i really need it.

(great news : papa's going home!)

hazy sunshine~

2007-05-02T21:34:00.000+09:00

(above clockwise from curly hair fabian, simona, me n kate.. ontop of the camel hump, thats not my hat btw) photo credited to akira

2nd of May..our excursion to nara, sounds lame like im in year 3 carrying my lunch box with my juice and snacks ready to bribe my classmates. i really had no idea what to expect, my no hopes no regrets take wuteva comes my way cut short when a deer tried to head butt me with his horns, chomp all my deer snacks (rice crackers of some sort) in less than 2 photo snaps. bloody bastards! i would totally say back home and eventually i did in my head when i realised i had been snapping around for a good bloody 10 mins and not having wound the negative on my plastic all manual camera (yes, its all the brownies and bongs catching up on me and my short term memory). speaking of which, how many years exactly does it take to unwind the harm thats already been done and embedded in me? my shrivelling lungs on the inside and my patiently deteriorating liver. oh well, crap on that, coz that was a no can do question.

cont... so i thought i left melbourne already, and yet thy infamous "4 seasons a day" came back to haunt me. like seriously, rain in the morning > sunny on the bus > cloudy when we got off > rain after lunch> pouring rain when we were climbing this "mountain" (a camel hump more like), then just when i decided to put on my jacket when we get to the temple, the clouds decides to clear up and shine away. anyhow it was pissing me off, first of all coz i was getting acid water all over my arms, like im not spoilt in the sense like 'eww i don't wana touch it', but more like 'if i knew this was going to happen i would've come tightly wrapped with glad wrap like a head to toe clear mummy, (that been said, no not naked) so i wouldn't have to put up with the post stickiness.',

ok now getting to the most exciting happening of the day was the fact that i was told to get to sch by 7.30 so i could bags myself a seat, and one that wasn't a foldable chair, literally smack bang in the centre of the aisle, no head rests fullstop. i think the rest is pretty much self explanatory. so yea, been the greedy type i really wanted a "good" seat, one that had a window view, with the sun not shining on my side etc etc (though i didn't really know which side the sun was on, but wuteva)

i got up bright n early 5am pronto, did my usual, blended fresh fruit veggie juice, coffee and 20 mins of spacing out staring at nothing, got changed and headed for the subway asap. timing was all good, (ya i checked the timetable n all!) n finally got to the bus stop hoping that i hadn't just missed a bus like i do everyday. and i see on the timetable it says 05am (blank) 06am (blank) 07am 07 23 44 59, looked down at my mobile clock, 06 fucking 40.................. so i sat on the floor on the street n read my book as i waited. i eventually got to sch roughly 7.30 and i didn't see a personin sight, nor a bus, hardly a fly within that 300m range. and i was...... not impressed? wuteva, i bought myself a katsu sandwich and a cuppa coffee and sat on the staircase, and just as i was taking my last bite i finally saw someone waving at me, someone who had also been told to get here at 7.30. and from there on, i watched as my teacher arrived on her bike, then my classmates, and those i had suggested to try n get here asap... oh and then finally!! the girl who told she would come at 7.30 and advised me that i should too... arrived fashionably "on time" and that was that, i did end up getting a 'good' seat, so happy me =) but i felt bad since i am smaller and with shorter legs than most, so for some of the parts i sat in the middle... okay finito. i am going to sleep, i am so BLOODY tired, and im going to osaka tmr.

ps. i almost bought a dress made for pregnant women the other day coz i thought.... i don't know what i thought, i wasn't really thinking.

(bagaaaaaa baaba black sheep..... )

so i went for a walk

2007-04-25T21:30:00.000+09:00

and i arrived in kyoto... things have changed rapidly in the past month, i'm back to the 'why don't u just kill me now' stage, but this time its somewhat different, coz i actually have my nose between books and no joke, its lasted 10 days now..... and so thats like what... another 355 days to go, and as u can see im trying to stay positive... although its all fresh n new, i feel disconnected from the rest of the world. it doesn't feel like im living a real life, rather feels more like im living someone elses life. unfamiliar. for now.
for those who haven't seen me in awhile, i meant to take photos n share it with u all, but as smart as i am, i left my camera chargers on the floor, in my bedroom, in taiwan..... haha but its on its way here..... by boat lol so hang in there, its coming soon! btw my hair is as short as..... a cow? ok for those who cant imagine i'll rephrase... as short as a boy. its somewhat nice that i don't really have to do much n the natural bed hair is bareable so i get more time to sleep than blow, dry, blah blah
so im really spose to be doing work right now, but i suddenly just remembered i still had such a thing called a 'blog', and i know u have been checking it everyday, yes YOU! haha i look forward to someone, I KNOW, ringing my door bell, coz so far the only guy who's rang my doorbell is the cable fee collector guy and i turned off the lights and pretended i wasn't home. (the lady told me to do so, so i wouldn't have to pay for cable, coz like sif i watch japanese dodgy tv anyways, half the time its this black dude going 'stretch your muscles' infomercial crap) anyways, i think thats some what of a insight to my life right now.... questions, just holler!

ps akong where the hell r u?
ah lun hows working full time mate? i miss ya
helen... super sammy... i miss eating food with u guys
abbie.... nintendo ds blue looks CRAP! im waiting for the black, or maybe white
hendy, stop getting drunk and emailing me on friday nights! get stoned then call me!
mama... i... u already know what im gon say, say hi to duk, miki, joe, btw was he foreal abt staying at his place in tokyo?
duck, goodluck with everything! you'll do just fine!
ying, pat your tempura for me, n i miss the mega size meals u always cook for me!
ah i think thats it, im outta friends....
play safe n stay safe mates

i have 3 musketeers n 2 pussy cats

2006-10-28T21:26:00.000+09:00

prrr prrrrr meowwwwww, wonders of an eyeliner n my skills! a sweeet night!

surprises outta the blue

2006-10-24T00:34:00.000+09:00

just a few things that happen to appear in fronta me haha but let me warn u, i will not take responsibilities for any sort of damage, physcially or mentally. otherwise, enjoy.

whole new perspective

2006-10-23T20:25:00.000+09:00

its not that i didn't know, never knew, or wasn't taught, i just didn't think it would happen..... to me. for the first time, i truly felt scared from the thought of losing someone. i realised how ungrateful i am, to those who have accepted and supported me. how i wish this is only for show, a lesson for us all, like things would go back to normal n i could say 'oh it's just god pulling his strings instead of telling us a folktale."

i love u with all my heart, i bless u with all my soul, and how i miss u so,
words couldn't explain, my tears and my heartache, but im sure u know,
right now, i wish i was home.

recently i've...

2006-10-08T22:32:00.000+09:00

been to a concert : panic! at the disco (fucking awesome! if only i could see his fucking face!)
seen jamie oliver : cook on stage live! ('same as above' and ontop of which i'd like to go home with him)
found my new chillout corner : eurotrash (if only i still lived right above, i'd be there all day n night)

other places we've been to,
beach club : helen lost her cardigan at the same time totally clueless of tutor boy feeling her up sex dreaming mouth wide open drooling! xD
QBH - XXL : was i scared? hell yea i was scared shitless, mr buff bouncer sniffing around... the tension of having a j not knowing whether i had properly butt-it-out or very much still lit and burning inbetween my legs wasn't exactly thrilling.
Hush Bar : one word : absinthe!
Prince of Wales : gross guys in fluoro shirts, hot guys in fluoro shirts, why fluoro?
i cant really remember the rest but its been a long night just abt every night. party keeps going! with an exception of tonight...

ps ah bb: lets rock more concerts! and make more use of our time together before we part loverrr xD
ah lun: i always say 'ah luns easy to convince' but i know i know, its just coz im so so special! and now i cant ever call u a tightass again, DAMN xD

anyways, above are for ah lun who's known for his grossly intriguing foot fetish, which ofcoz includes himself in heels xD and me in man shoes.

more from recent weeks

2006-09-10T23:31:00.000+09:00

for those i promised.

2006-09-10T23:11:00.000+09:00

the irony of me doing photography yet i never bring a camera around for those hilarious happy snap shots. anyways, hope you're laughing with us n not at us hahaha

too many 21st's and not enough of august

2006-08-20T23:36:00.000+09:00

unfortunately im onto my 22nd, but i assure you, i can still pull off the 'i'm still a kid (and chinese), please sell me the cheapest possible ticket there is on the list thank you!' (and btw yes my name is sally hoang) haha why not, whatever knocks off the dollars right! anyways, the same thing happens each year on this day, well for me atleast, im looking forward to it --- and soon, i'm looking foward to it 365 days in the coming year. just like how i get my hopes up and before u know it, i've flown too far. but 7 hickies in a night, now u cant beat that! and i never thought i'd ever have to stand in front of my mirror at 4am in the morning thinking to myself, my boobs look like they've been molested. tit for tat and they've still got 24hrs to finish off the other 15. good news for them and roast chicken for me. only half way, but thank-you to those who came last night, especially those who watched me puke and 'quote' god for pouring a bucket of diahrrea on abs car. bravo!

(drop the bomb, im bi-curious, yes bravo!)

my three part-time girlfriends..

2006-07-23T17:42:00.000+09:00

a few photos to update those across waters. mainly for kev, coz i know for a fact you'd want to see these! and yes! bravo on your new job, must i admit you're not just my favourite, but soon to be the richest? overflowing full of cash muahaha take u on poker style! none the less keep me posted on your (and jo's) where abouts end of this year, going home? or to the factory? wherever it is, let me know. if things go as planned i should be in tom's new house during chinese new year before heading for Japan.

half way to the start of a new end

2006-06-20T12:34:00.000+09:00

'almost there, you're almost there!' they say, i'm almost there!

satan calls me..

2006-06-10T16:03:00.000+09:00

..spirit fingers!! now let me show you, this is how its done \m/ (pre-visualisation, pft, adapt as needed i say!) this is by far the most time i've spent with photoshop in my face!! not to mention all that clicking involved has finally permanantly shaped my right hand like a claw. oh and how could i forget, i must thank my best friends, who kept me company through-out the whole night. whilst i was doing my 'click n drag-mask-lasso-select-copy n paste', they were hot-potting on my bed shouting at my tv watching soccer. how i got through that night, i would never know, though im sure it must have something to do with thy genius invention : earphones n death metal!!

just to update the nosy : recently we've been gettin down n boogie till dawn, hitting the scenes of teeny weeny sluts but nothing was as good as 'back then!' it just aint the same. 2 dejavu's, 1 exceeds the other. and i must say it aint even about the people. but some weird experience it was watching some fat chick shaking her ass in fronta our faces whilst we're tryna watch soccer. though i must admit i aint the biggest fan ever, but since my place has being overtaken by lunatics running wild, im happy to hear em scream whilst im rolling a doobie. as for thre rest of the world. enjoy it however u can, coz i cant wait to hear u whinge when its all over. other than that, it would be a dream come true to see Rammstein blow some fire when germany hits the finals. that would be some sick shit!!!! DU RIECHST SO GUT!!!!!!!!!!!

Psycho, Groupie, Cocaine, Crazy

2006-05-04T21:30:00.000+09:00

thats what i felt, at the end of our long day. thirteen floor-to-ceiling windows, one little me. finally, over a living room full of boxes you can just make out the balti bridge and the rest of docklands. thats what i call a slammin view baby! not quite the 5 star penthouse, though the almost private lift sure as hell made my day! though this 3 day 'workout' was estimated, the aches sneaked up on me, my joints hurt. but then my savior came and rescued my ass!! gave me a reason to dig through stacks for my precious greens...the puff made me feel light once again. ahhh... and this is how it is from start to end... now its half the time to my studio and miles away from mini-eyes-crazy-dyed-hair chinks!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeee

(click click boom!!! where's my southern cross station bum with binoculars?)

leaning forward to pull back

2006-05-02T22:49:00.000+09:00

when they say 'one step forward, two steps back', just exactly how bigga steps are they talking about? im stuck in between a new phase and its like when you're trying to avoid raindrops whilst walking down the street, but oh like frank sinatra sang, 'i'm singing in the rain what a glorious feeling, im happy again'.
tis the last night in this tiny box i stare out from. tommorow shall be a new view, another rainy view. and maybe i'll sing in the rain whilst directing my movers to lug my sofa upstairs. one step furthur shall not be the end, even if im taking steps back, i'll be walking with my back towards the end.

(he knew, i knew.. you'll know)

in the mood for...

2006-04-24T23:42:00.000+09:00

love? lust? or simply just company? whatever that was suppose to be about, im lost. my curiosity lingers, but im in no hurry to find out. i believe i know the answer though i could be wrong. im on the way to feeling the same way, except i choose to not. mutual feelings? not quite there yet, anxiety attacks? i doubt it sweetheart, screwed in the head? hey.. how'd u know?
i know its all about regrets, i cant say i have none, but atleast they're not about you. i choose to come clean, and its me i'm helping, not you. then again, why would you care? why should it matter? the fact that im speaking of this matter n spilling my guts out is purely fucked up, though who's to judge but myself. i enjoy it day n night, black to white, hell even the greys inbetween. call me two-faced, tell me you're not. after all, reality kicks in tis only another 7 months. untangle my riddle, don't. you're irrelevant, u rekon? slowly i taste your fear, explain? don't bother. it shall not happen, or should it? fuck how should i know? my choice, your problem.

(april exclusively, the morning belongs to the night.)

it all started last wednesday...

2006-04-22T23:00:00.002+09:00

so people have been asking where i've been, what did i get up to, sniffing here n there for dirt like the sun's gon rise from the other side if i didn't get myself into some sorta trouble. surprise surprise, i didn't get myself into any trouble, coz i was never caught u see!! time flies when you do just about everything and or nothing. my teacher taught me that procrastination is ofcourse a con, but relaxing and to let your body & mind take a break/rest, also plays an important part. well i took his word, for word, and since its easter break i got down and serious to relaxing as soon as i was outta his lecture, but i think we took it one step too far, coz woah! i have to admit its been awhile since eyes open eyes shut, its all smokin'... its as if i lived on a freakin pot farm, burning em non-stop on campfire!! (except for the fact that my endless supply is about a mile to my left in some bogans backyard) other than that, we did make some break throughs, got our hands on a few new gadgets, and came to a few conclusions. but right now our number one new gadget is our 11cm king size made in spain rolling machine, which although it wasn't top-notch like i imagined, and on top of that mr parrot totally robbed me clean, but our long lasting giggling made up for it definitely. never the less even with the change, i don't leave my wounded men behind so old phrase, it will all depend on our mood and venue. (meaning i won't be abandoning my pimpi, he's jumped on the ride and he's going all the way). gradually our collection is growing as we maximize our 'experience' and so like every other session, we play, we eat, we do all that n then we sleep n we forget. the next day we wake up we untangle our happenings n try to remember, we puff in between, and we're back to more giggling haha our accomplishment of the week... i'd have to say was we got to catch up on some movies, our long awaited V for vendetta, scary movie 4 (fujitsu, mitsubishi, bonsai).... and... wait let me think... underworld evolution, screwed, failure to launch, she's da man (i was way too stoned!) and some other dvd we rent from blockbuster, called... i don't even remember the name, and that been said, or the movie, last but not least we finally watched PRISON BREAK!! (we went through it in one long hard working night!!) and it aint over yet! theres more diggin to come. to be continued...

(wentworth miller, you're totally worth the wait)

IYAM wat IYAM coz i love yam.

2006-04-10T19:04:00.000+09:00

somewhat foolish, partly true. while i was having a cigarette listening to bebel gilberto it was all sinking in, pure bliss. as the color of leaves change, this is the last of me i leave behind. from now on, its all under my skin, i hide, i tremble, i learn.

(get out, got out, soon i'll be in again)

fuking sweet

2006-04-10T13:34:00.000+09:00

no chocolate or lollie could compare to this sweet sweet feeling. the relief of 'fuck its done!! finito, no more!! OVER!!' WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *rolling around-screaming-jump off my balcony* ok now it's time to start my next assignment.

(someone explain to me, why my feets so cold)

watch & learn my bunnies

2006-03-21T23:10:00.000+09:00

as promised, mystery of the world upside-down.

out with the diamonds, coz PLASTIC is 'IN'

2006-03-15T19:58:00.000+09:00

thanks to my darling daphne (though i've also gotta give some credit to my plastic bambi), she discovered Tatty Devine. A London based store, opened by ♣ Harriet Vine and ♦ Rosie Wolfenden, they stock all sorts of accessories, t-shirts, bazzar what-not's by designers and ofcourse products of their own (which btw has toured around the states and japan). YES, most of them are plastic, but hey, its the design we're paying for (or maybe just our greed). though remember, girls will be girls, and we simply never say NO to spending money!! the everytime we hear that cash register go 'ka-ching' our heart breaks with a smile on our face, and just what can we do, but race home to slip it on and check it out in the mirror. thus, just let us be!!

additional information: these accessories are for purchase through their site online (the link is on you're right in the sidebar), and for those in melbourne, they do stock a few of their designs at FAT in GPO Bourke Street.

(bang bang pu-shhhh bang, HEY there's fire works!!, a-DUH')

he is a DOCTOR...

2006-03-14T19:02:00.001+09:00

of Fine Arts. After some 20 odd years of majoring in fine arts (Bacherlors, Masters to Honoury Doctor), Abelardo Morell somehow, ended up as a photographer. Currently exhibiting in Spain, Israel and all over the States, Doctor Morell is the man of the show, the cherry on top, the one everyone should be talking about, if not. Straight photography, manipulation none-wut-so-ever. hard to believe, i know, but its just tricks fooling your eyes, and no, not your eyes playing tricks on you. and you might ask, 'now, why are some things up-side-down?' well, long story short, it's how the world really is!! haha 'and wat about the other half?' u say.... aHA clever little eyes!!! well, take some time to process these photos through your head, and i will be revealing the answers in a couple days. once again, pls enjoy!! (TAKE YOUR TIME, I SAID)

(pajun is da bomb!! i'll explain, but only if you're into spring onions)

lil horney audrey

2006-03-12T20:45:00.000+09:00

audrey kawasaki, mad artist with mad sense of style, fettish, imagination. her paintings sucks me in with a twist. done on wood planks, exhibited in blackmarket (those in LA would know). pity i didn't get to see them with my own eyes. something i would consider buying to hang on my wall, if i was allowed to hang stuff on a rented house wall that is.

(soju calpis turns me on non-stop)

dedicated to mama: slave to the lips

2006-03-12T14:57:00.000+09:00

she's wuteva you want her to be, let her rock your world!!

for those who don't know, mama is joey. chen mei ling as ong would tease, J as akong would call, ORANGE is what she screams, angry baby she yells as she tries to find me.

dear mama: mail me a krispy kream. im craving!!!

(hairy trees comfort me)

an introduction for all

2006-03-10T17:52:00.000+09:00

this is me: angry. life's running non-stop, we're all running along. eventually we'll meet those who run at our pace, not those too fast, too slow. hence never stop running, don't catch your breathe. for u might just miss your chance with whoever it is. whoever you're trying to catch up with, slow down for. im still running, run with me. this is the most vulnerable me, which me do you know? gradually you'll find out, soon you'll know. whether inside out, long hair short, its all me, schizo it is. stick around and watch me unfold.

(stop knocking on my door hun, barge in if thats what u want.)

for starters

2006-03-10T13:54:00.000+09:00

in my room: currently, aerosmith is playing dawn to dusk, macs are running REALLY sloooooow, balcony is quite bloody useless, a big leak bubble on my wall which i broke with a poke, luggage still very much intact (not coz im slack) but coz im literally running out of space, finding surface for me to tread on is a tough one but screw that coz a move's in making SUGAR!!!

(say hi to YOUR MOM for me!!!)