.. that some people make cakes for their girlfriends, where as others cheat.
its not exactly about been lucky or not, its more the fact that if you give more, you tend to receive less.
why that is, is pretty much self explanatory, but i will elaborate for those idiots who cant see if for themselves. however, note: i am aware some idiots just choose not to understand. its ok, go right ahead, live your selfish carefree life. for one day, when the time comes, you'll regret and it'll be too late.
the human nature of giving, is not chosen by oneself. its also most definitely not something we decide consciously. (not in the right mind atleast.) we give because our inner subconscious transmits a certain urge to do so, due to love. sadly to say, most times we are just under the illusion that we are in love. the idiot who's more "in love" is the one who gets lost in it. therefore, in a relationship, there's always one party who gives more n receives less, hence the other gives less but somehow still ends up receiving more. people who dont go through the hardship of giving, wont understand the misery one goes through waiting for reciprocation. therefore has no idea what its like to be unloved, unappreciated. how one can effect another through the tinniest of gestures. how can anyone understand what another person feels if not having been through the same problem?! people say, 'i understand, i know what u mean', do they REALLY? no! how could u possibly imagine the pain of a man who's been stabbed to the chest with a knife without actually having it done to you? you may think you know. but you dont.
so, back to the story of the idiot who's in love. this idiot chooses to be patient and gives n gives, waits n waits. until one day he/she realises. this has got to stop once n for all! but how do we stop our inner-selves? its like the demon of our souls, have u ever seen the demon lose? the answer is no! so we figure out a solution n adjust to the situation. we come up with a bright new idea. instead of suppressing ourselves, we ask for something in return to feel fair n just. well, thats gotta be the stupidest solution in the world! because nothing thats done outta force means shit! well actually, what i meant to say is, exactly that. it means shit! shit all! so why do we do this to ourselves? what good do we get out of it? here comes the sad part. all we wanted was to just be loved. we needed to feel loved. the same way we would love another. the way we would sacrifice and change ourselves for another. whether its making an extra effort in taking notes on what our loved ones likes to eat, the music they enjoy or make sacrifices to fit to their time n schedules. and before you know it, we've lost ourselves. we're exhausted. we feel small. we doubt love. we've even given up some friendships coz of love. n he says 'no one asked you to do any of those things!!' right. you've got a point, but ...... suddenly its starting to feel like its not worth it anymore. because at this point, this love we have is getting inconvenient for our selfish loved ones. coz we are no longer giving without complaining. we are asking for more than we ever have. we are not who they first met. the very 'generous' human being. from here on, we are pictured as the vicious demons who suck their lives away. the ones who ask for unreasonable things. they just dont see, that what we need is to know that they are also willing to do and give up anything as we would for them. if only they would show us. if only they could understand without all these explanations.
people have told me enough is enough. i've done enough preaching. i've tried hard enough. i've made enough sacrifices. my social conditions aren't exactly THAT bad. not to the point that I have to suffer for reasons I cant put together. except theres too much to let go off, yet not enough to keep going. if only i was bastard enough to just leap into the arms of another man... that would ease some of the pain atleast.
to think, breakup is just a 7 letter word. yet its so hard to do.
